"Monte Carlo, '88, the last qualifying session. I was already on pole and I was going faster and faster. One lap after the other, quicker, and quicker, and quicker. I was at one stage just on pole, then by half a second, and then one second...and I kept going. Suddenly, I was nearly two seconds faster than anybody else, including my team mate with the same car. And I suddenly realized that I was no longer driving the car consciously.
"I was kind of driving it by instinct, only I was in a different dimension. It was like I was in a tunnel, not only the tunnel under the hotel, but the whole circuit for me was a tunnel. I was just going, going - more, and more, and more, and more. I was way over the limit but still able to find even more. Then, suddenly, something just kicked me. I kind of woke up and I realized that I was in a different atmosphere than you normally are. Immediately my reaction was to back off, slow down. I drove back slowly to the pits and I didn't want to go out any more that day. "It frightened me because I realized I was well beyond my conscious understanding. It happens rarely, but I keep these experiences very much alive in me because it is something that is important for self-preservation."
In that 1988 Monaco Grand Prix Senna was leading his team mate by nearly 50 seconds when he crashed - inexplicably. While Prost went on to win, Senna did not return to the McLaren pit. He walked the short distance to his flat and promptly went to sleep. He later acknowledged that he lost concentration when his pit ordered him to slow down. The accident was a major turning point in his inner life.
"I am religious. I believe in God, through Jesus. I was brought up that way, was maybe drifting away from it, but suddenly turned the other way. Things that have happened in my racing career contributed a lot to my change of direction. It was a buildup of things that reached a peak and then I had a kind of crisis. Monaco was the peak and it made me realize a lot of things.
"It is something that is difficult to talk about, very touching for me. But it is something unique in life, something that can hold you, can support you, when you are most vulnerable. It has made me a better man. I am a better human being now than I was before this. I am a better in everything I am and everything I do."
excerpt from Ayrton Senna profile in Grand Prix People by Gerald Donaldson.
The audio version of this item was featured in the excellent documentary 'SENNA'
preview clip from SENNA
Jo Ramirez & Gerald Donaldson discuss Senna at Monaco
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