Cool, Quick, Clever, Calculating Kimi



(portrait:dianefineart.ca)

Clever Kimi Raikkonen outsmarted all those who considered him just a quick driver with a one-track mind (possibly two-track, according to his roistering Rakkinen past). For 2014 he signed a multimillion dollar contract to return to Ferrari, the team that had previously paid him multimillions to not drive its famous red cars. Kimi doesn't much care what anyone thinks about him but a growing pile of evidence concerning his wheeling and dealing suggests he may be a candidate for the cleverest man in the sport.

In 2012, after a two-year sabbatical, he returned to F1,, having fun flogging his Lotus and stacking yet more millions in his bulging Swiss bank account. Cool Kimi Raikkonen was never an exceptional scholar but his flair for financial finagling is worthy of a mathematical genius.

Nicknamed 'Snotnose' as a youngster in wintry Finland, he used his schoolbag as a sled to speed down snow covered hills and found that books meant for study made excellent goalposts for impromptu ice hockey games, a pastime he much preferred to learning about reading, writing or arithmetic. But somewhere along the way, after he abandoned his apprenticeship as a mechanic and became a full time race driver, Cool Kimi became highly skilled at winning games involving big numbers.

In 2010, after a fabulously lucrative nine-year F1 career that made him rich beyond his wildest dreams, Kimi was paid a vast sum - much more than 90% of the drivers on the grid - not to drive for Ferrari. The amount, believed to be 17 million euro, was approximately half the 2009 Ferrari salary that had made him the highest paid driver in F1 history. Canny Kimi of course had help from his cunning English management team, but even for someone who might not be a numerate wizard the money for nothing (and the chicks were free) scenario was simple to comprehend.

Kimi's three-year Ferrari contract, which began in 2007, contained an option clause for a fourth year, which would keep him with the team through the 2010 season. Ferrari took up this option after Quick Kimi won the 2007 driving title. But thereafter Quirky Kimi's performances became uneven, Felipe Massa often outdrove him, and when Fernando Alonso became available for 2010 and would bring with him Santander Bank sponsorship, Ferrari decided Kimi was expendable. So they spent heavily on his severance pay after negotiating a contract release that made it more attractive for Kimi to take a sabbatical. If he left F1 he would be paid 17 million euro, if he signed for another F1 team Ferrari would pay him only 10 million euro. Calculating Kimi put 2 and 2 together and decided it was worth about 7 million extra euro in his Swiss bank account to go play at rallying and toying with NASCAR.

So Clever Kimi was being paid handsomely for doing nothing in F1. Even Bernie Ecclestone, supposedly the smartest man in the sport, does not get paid for doing nothing.